The law of attraction......

My cousin Chantal aka Chayil is one of the most inspirational and strong women i know. She faces alot of adversity with her illness but yet she still prevails. Her ability to stay 'on top of things' inspite of all that happens to her is truly inspiring. As are her words of wisdom and her advice.

Over the years i have learned alot from her, gotten my ass properly kicked when it was needed and truly formed a close friendship with her. Whenever i have questions, she always willing to listen and give me sound advice. In a world of chaotic subliminal messages and nonsense-sayers she along with my mother and a few others represent sanity and the sheer awesomeness of being a woman.

Today's conversation with my cousin started out like most others. Little did i know that it would turn out to be so inspirational and 'aha' moment inspiring. We hadnt spoken in a about a week. Which is a departure from our daily chit chat routine. But hey.....sometimes life interupts. Somewhere in the midst of our chitchatting we stumbled onto the more serious topics.

We started talking bout the law of attraction. You know, the phenomenon that was brought to the worlds attention by 'The secret'. I had seen the dvd a while back and had started to try the technique. But i abandoned it because it didnt seem to work. Little did i know that i had been practicing the secret at crucial points in my life, not knowing that it was the law of attraction at work.

At different points in my life, i voiced and intense desire for something and then just 'let it go'. The universe listened and manifested these things in my life at the right moment. When i first moved to holland, i would pass by this appartment building everyday. I loved the appartments and would say to myself 'one day i will live there'. And sure enough, years later, i was living in that very same building. Some other things happened in my life that i had fervently wished for, but i never attributed it to the law of attraction. Whenever they would manifest i would declare that i must have had a psychic moment or something. But when i saw 'the secret', i realized what i had been doing.

Sometime last year i declared that i wanted to get back into singing and that i wanted to dance again. I expressed, to no-one in particular, that i wanted to perform again. As the law of attraction states, every thought is sent out into the universe and sooner or later, if the request is pure and true, the universe will grant it. And sure enough, this year that request has been honoured by the universe. I wanted to start singing and dancing again; subsequently i have been casted in a musical, am taking part in the 'Vagina Monologue's' , and am singing to a choreography of two dances for a dance show by a renowned dance school on the island. Hmm.....the saying 'be carefull what u ask for ' is really true.

While i was telling my cousin this, i remembered an Oprah show this past week where the law of attraction was discussed. Part of the show was about making a 'love list'. One of the ladies on the show (i forget her name) talked about attracting the love you want in your life by asking the universe. Sort of like special ordering your mate from the universe. To facilitate your request, one would have to make a 'love list'. She refered to a woman who's story is featured in the 'O' magazine. The woman listed 100 qualities that she wanted a man to have and then put the list away for safekeeping. A couple of years later, she met a man who fit almost all of the things she had listed. Equipped with this 'magical' knowledge i decided to make my own 'love list'. I figured, 'What the hey. I am not having much luck finding someone at this moment, so i might as well special order 'him' from the universe.'

So there i was.....equipped with laptop...(writing wasnt going to do it for me this time) ready to list 100 things in a man that i would want. I had to list these things and be specific. So i knew i had to elaborate. But as i sat behind the laptop i was having a hard time listing things. I began to question myself about my desire to be in a relationship. I had listed some stuff.....but i couldnt get past 8 things. When i showed my cousin the list.......she instantly told me she had already added about 7 other things to the list. When i read what she had written i realized that what i had been writing down was totally not what i needed in my life, or my sons life for that matter. I had been making my list based on past experiences and fears of being hurt. That would never work. And if i had continued it i would have been ordering another disaster in my life.

My brilliant cousin then told me something that switched on the lightbulb in my head. The 'aha' moment so to speak. She told me to 'list the things from my hearts desire'. And that is when it hit me. I wasnt in tune with my hearts desire. I was operating on an intellectual basis. To give an example: i had listed that i wanted someone intelligent and gave some specifications to it. But my cousin pointed out that i could meet someone intelligent who could use that intelligence to manipulate and degrade me. (this had happened before). Now...this is one of the things she added: 'a man who loves children and will accept and love your son as much as you do'. When i read this and some of the other qualities she listed...i was floored. How could i not have seen these things? How could i not have asked for these things ?

Needless to say, i erased what i had....and am now back to square 1. But this time i dont mind, because i know i will be making this list from the heart. And who knows.....the universe might hear me and grant me my 'special order'. :)

Mystic.