Today was an awesome day. I didnt expect it to be as great as it turned out. That is the great thing about not having any expectations. I went to rehearsals for the Vagina monologue and it turned out to be a really wonderful experience. I wasnt sure i wanted to continue wiht the production because i was having trouble attending the rehearsals. They are at nite...and i dont always have a baby sitter for my son. In addition i had missed a whole week of rehearsals due to dengue fever. So i was really behind. But all my objections to taking part were wiped away during the session today.
The producer and choreographer, Clara, decided to do someting different today. We all sat in a circle and gave a little background information about ourselves. It was fantastic to hear the stories behind these women. Some talked about their experiences and what led them to the production in great lenghts. Others (like myself) gave a brief summary. Clara was rite on when she explained that knowing the background of the women would strenghten the bond in the production.
We women are amazing and soooooooooo much stronger then we give ourselves credit for. Most of the women in the cast are mothers and a vast mayority are single parents. There are 2 lesbians in the group. Other women are older and exude wisdom and a great deal of the women are very talented dancers. A grand variety of women and all of us are colaborating to bring forth a production about the power of women. More importantly the power of the Vagina.
For anyone who is familiar with the 'Vagina Monologue's' , they know that it isnt about degrading the female genetalia but about talking candidly and openly about an element of the female anotomy that has been taboo for so long. The hiding of it, not discussing of it and practically ignoring of it has led to women doing and experiencing so many negative things. Eve Ensler , the author of the book, opened a pandora;s box of emotions and stories with her book. The interviews with so many women about their vagina's was enlightening. And now the book has inspired a worldwide movement of V.M. productions.
My sister was the catalyst behind this production. She read the book, called up a friend after it and said 'we should do this production'. That got the ball rolling and they got two other people on board. Amoungst them Clara Reyes. She is a truly awesome creative force. Her energy, creativity, vision and choreography are making this production something to be reckoned for. This production will be part of an ongoing production called 'In the company of women'.
I am truly blessed that i am part of rhis production. It is exactly what i need at this point in my life. My journey to me was kind of being stagnated due to doubts, insecurities and self esteem issues. Though i am more active then i have been in years, i am also facing some aspects of myself i had buried away. But becuase this is a production that is about liberating and uplifting women i am working through my issues with myself slowly but surely. With each rehearsal, i get a little more comfortable in my skin again. I compare myself less and less to the women around me...and do my own thing. I guess some of the insecurity comes from the fact that i am lagging behind in the dances due to my absence. And sometimes i get intimidated by the voices around me. Some of these women can really sing!. And some of these women are just natural performers.
This production and the musical i am also part of require me to give my all in singing and dancing. But i am continously battling myself. I sing but i hold back, i dance but i hold back, i act but i hold back. And i have absolutly no clue why i am doing that. I do have theories but none of them conclusive and certainly not solution based.
*sigh*.....i have a long way to go...and i better get my act together quick....because the premieres to these productions will wait on no-one. But the good thing is that i am working through my things consciously and am having 'aha' moments along the way. Today was definetly one of those days. The one after the other 'aha' moment. Partly inspired by the V.M. rehearsal and by my cousin Chayil. Bless her heart! (the 'aha' moments inspired by chayil are in another post).
Mystic
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